The Grateful Part Of Thankfulness

 

Here I go again with another long winded post. But there was no other way, I promise!

For those of you who have been here before, you know that I have shared that my husband and I have been going through some turmoil in our marriage lately. We are very blessed to have two couples who meet with us each week to help us work through these issues and reconcile our marriage. Last night was our meeting night.

 

One of the couples that we meet with shared that while praying for us, the Lord gave them the word “grateful” along with the chorus to the song “Give thanks with a grateful heart”. Then the Lord gave them a sentence that said “Scott and Stephanie need to be grateful”. When the Lord speaks your name, it is definitely time to sit up and take notice.

 

Our friends continued to pray for us, and they received some wonderful insight into what the Lord was saying. I would like to share what they gave us last night.

 

First off, thankfulness and gratefulness are two different things. To be thankful means “appreciative of favors”. To be grateful means to be “thankful for kindness”. These words may seem to mean the same thing, but as it was revealed to us last night, they are very different.

 

The way our friend described the difference to us is that you can be thankful with out being grateful. For example, if someone gives you 10 dollars, but you need 20 you are thankful on the outside but in your heart you are not satisfied with what they gave you.

 

 

Do you see how different they can be? Here is what our friend wrote down for us:

“Giving thanks for the things God has given you is a lot different than experiencing -at a heart- level the kindness God has expressed towards you by the act of giving and realizing the pleasure in brought Him in the process.”

 

Wow.

 

I can relate this instantly to our weekend. My husband brought me out to dinner and a movie. I was thankful but in my heart I wasn’t satisfied with his gesture. I wanted something more. I wanted a serenade, on bended knee for all to see or something like that. I don’t know what I watned, but I do know that I was definitely not grateful.

 

The funny thing is, I have always considered myself to be a grateful person, especially towards the Lord so I was initially confused. Perhaps this is guilt by association, you know this word is really for my husband and I just happen to be involved. You know, God is using me as a buffer to rebuke my husband. Yeah, right. The truth is God put my name into that sentence and His word has something to say about taking the log out of your own eye before you take the speck out of someone else’s.

 

I have been thinking and praying about this all day. Here are three foundations that we were given that show the root of an ungrateful heart:

 

1. An ungrateful heart is not satisfied with Jesus’ leadership in their lives. They do not believe He is treating them correctly, meeting their needs, and are resentful towards Him because He is not doing what they feel He should be doing in their life and family.

 

I had to think about this one. My first thought was that I have held my hands up in praise during the most difficult time in my life. I have verbally thanked the Lord for bringing me here because I know He loves me enough to not only carry me through, but has worked out so much in my life. Maybe this one doesn’t apply to me. But after some heart searching, I have to admit that I have often wondered “Why me?”. I have not fully trusted God with my marriage, and have often questioned why this has happened to me and why can’t my life just be normal. While in the flesh,  that may seem logical. But in the spiritual realm, that isn’t being grateful. That is doubt. That is feeling resentful that He is not doing what I feel He should be doing in my life and family. Because if I accepted what He is doing with a grateful heart, I would know that He works all things out for my good and His purposes are perfect. I would know that where He has us right now is what needs to be done in our family,  even if it hurts.

 

2. An ungrateful heart is harboring greed in their life. They are not satisfied with what they have materially-they want more. They have their eyes on the world and the things in the world instead of on Jesus and things above. As a result of greed they are unhappy with everything in their life: spouse work home finances etc.

 

I don’t want to sound as though I am missing a point here, but in all honesty I don’t have greed for material things. Once I again, I’m thinking this one MUST be for hubby. I also don’t want to be so coy that I dismiss it either. After some prayer this morning, I have realized that I may not have greed in a material sense, but I do have greed in other areas. I am often running after more, reaching for the next best thing instead of simply resting and being content while my eyes are focused on Jesus. This has lead to unhappiness in my marriage and most likely is the reason my heart  has been divided from my husband for a long time.

 

3. Another sign of an ungrateful heart is the person is full of discontentment. They have lost the ability to appreciate the wonderful things they have. Everything is negative. They are unable to see the positive things in those around them. They are not able to count their blessings or perhaps even see them.

 

Ok, so even if I did dodge # 1 and #2 (which I am sure I didn’t!) this one is for me folks. I have been struggling with discontentment for a very, very long time. Yesterday was one of those days. I was just plain cranky, unhappy, and tired. I woke up and lay in bed thinking I don’t want to face my day. i am ashamed to say that I have been feeling like this far too often. This verse came to me this morning and I have been thinking of it all day:

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phill. 4:11-13

Being thankful is good, and we receive good things we are to give thanks. But being grateful is a whole different matter. It comes from deep inside the heart.

I haven’t fully processed all this. I was overwhelmed when this was given to us last night. I am amazed that God spoke our names to someone who was praying for us with this wonderful revelation. I have a lot of heart searching to do about this, and I pray that I can go to my Lord unhindered and have Him pour out to me the areas that I have built up against Him in my heart, areas that I have been ungrateful towards Him, my husband, my family. Once again, the condition of my heart is laid before me and I don’t like what I see! It is almost like when you come to a scene of an accident. Part of you wants to look away but the other part is amazed and has to see. That is me, looking at my heart right now! But I know that God has revealed this to cleanse and sanctify us for His purposes. It really is a wonderful thing!

I wonder if you have ever thought of the difference of being thankful verses being grateful. Does any of this speak to you? Are you struggling, like I am, with being content in all circumstances? Do you question Jesus’ leadership in your life? Do the things of this world tempt you?