Quite a while ago I opened up a Facebook account thinking it was just another means to network with other bloggers. I had heard a lot about it, and it seemed like a fun thing to do. What I didn’t expect was to connect with many old friends from high school . It was a life that seemed to be lived eons ago. It has been fun to see what others have been up to, if they are married, their children and where life has taken them in the course of our 19 years since high school (gasp! Has it been that long?)
As I was looking through some of my old acquaintances and some of my very good friends I have just lost touch with, I realized that out of all these people, I am the only one who hasn’t gone to college and built a career, the only one who has chosen to be a full time homemaker and home school my children. Our children are much older than most of theirs, if they even have any. Many are just getting married for the first time or are newly married. Out of close to 100, I have only met one who has become a believer.
As I sifted through pictures, I noticed another theme developing. Many of these friends live in big, beautiful homes or even own more than one; many share pictures of themselves vacationing in Bermuda, Hawaii, or on the beaches of Florida, and are driving brand new, expensive cars. I began to get a little envious. For a moment, I had the thought cross my mind: did I choose the right path?
I could think of a million more ways that our lives differ from those of my career driven friends. Though the thought crossed my mind as I looked at all of the material things they had compared to what we have, I am reminded that my rewards are not on this earth. The world may look at me and deem me a failure. We don’t own a home, we drive used cars, and we live off a single income. I was always an A student in high school, but if the view of the world was to grade my report card, I would be probably be failing. But my life is not judged by the world, it is judged by the King of Kings, the Almighty, the Creator. What would my grades look like on His report card?
Sure my work right now may seem mundane to onlookers. The daily dose of doing laundry, wiping noses, cleaning up one mess only to do it 10 minutes later may look unimportant.. But my investments today cannot be measured by what the world values. I am not choosing to live for those things that will someday burn up, but for things that matter for eternity. I am right where He has called me to be. It may not be easy, it may not be glamorous, in fact most days it is downright difficult. But one thing it isn’t is a waste.
Loving and serving the Christ, being a help meet to my husband, raising my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, creating a home that is a center of ministry to a lost and dying world, these things cannot be measured in terms of value because they are priceless.
Our day will come when we vacation on fine beaches and have fun in the sun. It may not be until we are in heaven, and I am okay with that. Living my life now for the rewards that await me in eternity by serving Christ is exactly where I want to be. There is no greater joy, no greater honor, and no greater call.
{ 13 comments }
Wow! Nice epic post. Thanks for the interesting facts.
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This is the first time I have been to your site and what a blessing that I found you when I did. I too have just recently set up a face book account and have been reconnecting with some old freinds from highschool – I graduated 27 years ago – I set it up to communicate with my college son and sisters never expecting to find old friends!!! The thing is that while it is nice to reconnect I am also finding that I am the only one who has choosen to be a full time mom!!! I did graduate from college and worked full time for 1 year before giving birth to our first child and starting the wonderful journey of stay at home mom. I love being a homemaker and consider it a blessing to be able to do it. Yet when reading about my “friends” lives I felt a bit like I had failed and should have worked and built my career and my pile of worldly possessions!!! Then I found your site and remembered why I do what I do. I do beleive it is Gods desire that I be with my family things are so temprol and will some day burn but the relationship I have with God and my family is forever. Maybe some day in heaven I can walk with you on those beautiful beaches – Thanks for the reminder
I can understand what made you feel the way you did. My husband and I began dating in our final year of highschool and, through a series of bad choices, I fell pregnant half way through that year. We both knew the Lord then, and others knew our position in our faith, so there were many sniggers and jokes. But, God is gracious and the life we have built since then is exceedingly more than I could have ever asked for or imagined. However, it feels like we had to work doubly hard to achieve what we have and all the while with people watching us closely, expecting us to fail (as most marriages in such circumstances do).
It was hard to live a small, simple life while our peers traveled all over the world to work, play and study. In hard times we didn’t have the same resources others did having not had the time to build up savings accounts or career portfolios. We become full-time parents at age 18, without much support from our families, so we felt our options were somewhat stunted.
Despite the rough start at a young age, we made the choice that I would be a fulltime mother in all circumstances believing it was right for our child. My husband struggled to find good employment opportunities so he started his own business from the ground up. We did everything we could to make the best of a difficult situation, trusting in God and trying to still enjoy our youth as much as was possible.
That was 12 years ago. Now, through the relationships I have maintained since then and with reconnecting with others via Facebook, I am astounded to notice a few things. Yes, many of my peers have flashy jobs, houses and cars and have traveled extensively. But most of the girls are now 30 years old and desperate to get married and have children, but struggling to find willing men! Those that have gotten married seem to be struggling with infertility and sorely regret the years spent playing rather than building the life they actually wanted! They have focussed so much of their energies on building careers through working long hours that they actually aren’t very happy, don’t travel much anymore because their jobs keep them too busy and what they actually want – marriage and family – their status and money can’t buy them!
The same people who 10 years ago felt sorry for me and even mocked me and our position and choices are now turning to me for advice and telling me how LUCKY I am!
So, don’t let the pictures of fancy holiday homes fool you. Facebook is a platform used to show off and boast and doesn’t reveal the whole truth! Secondly, while others secretly or openly envy you and look at your life, many will see the grace of God in you and how He has worked in your life. I have had a few opportunities to witness and share how it is only through His love and Grace that I have a loving husband and 2 wonderful children, and how He has provided for us every step of the way.
Your “little” life may just be what God is using to bring others to a place of introspection, questioning, and then to their knees.
Be blessed as you shine His light and love through your obedience and love for your Heavenly Father!
Thank you for sharing with us.
I agree with Michelle…you get an A! Your children are amazing and you home is always so welcoming, warm, and loving. How many of your old high school friends have those things? I am glad to hear you sticking to what you value. I’ve always been told the right thing is usually unpopular. It’s true!
The same thing happened to me. I had the same doubts and worries when I reconnected with old friends. I realized that some of them even had second houses by the ocean. My husband and I have made different decisions, to live without a huge mortgage…we can actually afford our house. We go on modest vacations and I am home with the kids. I do work from home part time but it is my schedule and not very much money, but it helps pay for the extras…goes into a college account for the kids and helps with their orthodontist bills.
Don’t second guess the decision you made…it is the most important one!
I loved your post. Just LOVED it. I’ve pretty much given up trying to fit in. It’s been a difficult thing to fully understand, but I’m realizing I was born to stand out. I have no aspirations in life that the world would envy or applaud. Actually I’ve been verbally spat on more times that I can count. But I’m holding His hand while I endure slap, after slap because I’m turning the other cheek as I choose to look Upward, believing in His greater purpose for me.
God gives strength and grace to those trying to achieve the purpose HE chose for them! Praying for you as you continue to walk out His plan for your life.
I empathize with ya, sister. Babylon is mighty tempting, especially when the mentality was indoctrinated to us in our youth. You are blessed for your choices. And God promises “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” {2Peter1:3-4} When I remember that I realize how much more I want to participate in His divine nature over living in a big house void of real treasures.
Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Have you ever thought that they may be envying you? Until a year ago I was building my career in the work force but craved to be home so bad. I would have been so envious of you. I don’t care what my high school or college friends think about me being a sahm….I love every minute.
Probably a lot of those people can’t quit b/c they are in debt up to there eyeballs b/c of the big houses and luxurious vacations. I hope that your life will be a witness to them!!!
I thought that reconnecting with friends from FIVE years ago was difficult! Thanks for letting me know that I’m not the only person who has ever felt like this when I’m browsing facebook. And thanks for reminding me what REALLY counts.
I commend you for your choices. Man looks on the outward appearance but God looks at our heart. He knows our motivations and our desire to please Him and the “unearned” blessings that He pours over me are so much more delicious than anything I could have “earned” by this world’s standards. Keep your focus!
Thanks, Elizabeth
Amen sister! Thank you!! ?
You get an A in my book!
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