What Kind Of Home Do You Have?

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

It is my sincere desire to raise my children to love the Lord with all their hearts, minds and souls. I would go to the ends of the earth and back just to ensure that they are following Him.

I long ago realized that I will never be a perfect parent (it was a hard realization). Thank goodness I have the Lord to not only train me up and correct my ways, but also fill in those gaping holes in my parenting that I am unable to fill in myself.

Have you ever heard the saying that children didn’t come with an instruction manual? I beg to differ. They came with a very detailed instruction manual called God’s Word.

Children learn what they live. Thankfully God gave children lots of grace that they extend to us.  Often times they get over our mistakes faster than we do! However habitual, continual and lingering sin on the part of the parents will affect your children. Godliness, love, humility, grace and gentleness will affect your children as well. If children learn what they live, it leads me to ask what are they living? What kind of home am I raising my children in?

God gives us a pattern for home life all through out Scripture. In the book The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo, he breaks this home life down as the child centered home versus the God centered home. You could call it the secular home or the Christ like home. What ever you call it, there is much wisdom in evaluating what your home life is like. Here is what children learn in each home:

Child Centered Home	God Centered Home
Interrupts adults when they are talking	Doesn’t interrupt parents who are speaking to each other
Uses manipulation and rebellion to get their way	Cheerfully obeys parents the first time
Dictates the family schedule (including meal times, bed times etc)	To work their schedule around their parents other responsibilities in addition to meeting their needs
Takes precedence over the needs of the spouse	Joyfully serves others
Have an equal or overriding vote in all decision making matters	Understands that they will no always get their own way
Demands excessive time and attention from parents to the detriment of the other biblical responsibilities of the parents	To not be more intimate with either parent than the parents are with each other
Escapes the consequences of their sinful and irresponsible behavior	To suffer the natural consequences of their sinful and irresponsible behavior
Speaks to parents as through they were peers	To not speak to parents as though they were peers but to honor them as spiritual authorities
Are dominant in the influence of their home	To esteem others as more important than themselves
Are entertained and coddled, rather than disciplined out of a bad mood	To protect themselves from certain bad influences
	To fulfill various household responsibilities (chores)
	To not divide the parents over disciplinary issues

If you are anything like me, you could probably dip to either side of this chart depending on the day you are having. Thank goodness for repentance and grace, eh?

The goal, of course, is to move your home life from the left side to the right. To have more of a God centered home than a child centered home can be the difference between peace, harmony, hope or chaos, frustration and despair.

Raising my children in a home that reflects God’s model is going to require more time, more sacrifice, and more diligence on my part. But bringing up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord is one of the greatest, most sacred, highest and most noble responsibilities He has given me.

The time invested in developing a God centered home will have a huge return.  Obedient and cheerful children who think of others and understand their roles are much easier to raise than those who demand their way, have fits and tantrums, and manipulate you. You can see that most often in the grocery store. Which mother is getting her groceries done faster? The one with the screaming child who refuses to sit in the cart and ransacks the store? Or the one who contentedly sits in the cart smiling, while mommy does her shopping?

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:8

The degree to which we are investing in our children to produce Godly character is the degree to which treasures are being laid up in heaven. You are stomping on the kingdom of darkness with your Godly home. You are changing the world with your Godly arrows. What could be a more important investment of your time than that?

This chart has caused me to examine where my time is being invested, and it is obvious some things need to change. Maybe you can see that as well. (If not, call me, I need your guidance!). The great thing about our Lord is that He is a redeemer of time, and if we faithfully and diligently seek to bring Him glory and honor in raising our children, He will take what is wrong and help us make it right!

“In the end, though, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home or perfect training or a perfectly spiritual role model or a wife without faults – but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a home for them.” Sally Clarkson The Mission of Motherhood

Suggested Reading:

Your Family, God’s Way: Developing and Sustaining Relationships in the Home

The Heart of Anger (don’t wait until your child is angry to read this..good stuff!)

Hints on Child Training

Biblical Parenting

The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child’s Heart for Eternity

This post is linked to Blissfully Domestic and Talk About Tuesday and Tuesdays Tip For Mom